Splinters in her crotch...
A woman from Los Angeles who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat,
and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland near Colville ,
There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She
wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started
to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a
spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid
down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch.
In considerable pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She
told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter
and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her
story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the
examining room and he would see if he could help her.
She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The
angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?" He smiled and then
told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental
Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land
Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a
“recreational area” so close to a waste treatment facility. I'm
sorry, but due to ObamaCare they turned me down."